Okay, this is it. This is going to be the time I sit down and write something even though I don't feel like writing. Maybe I'm a better writer when I'm level-headed. Maybe if I treat writing more like a daily task I will get better at it. Yeah, that's what I could do. I'll write for half an hour a day. Just about whatever. That will help.
Maybe if I just start writing I will become inspired anyway. Yeah, it could loosen me up a little bit and the wisdom would just start pouring out. I think I like the sound of that. Maybe then I would feel a little bit better about ignoring my roommate fucking her boyfriend. If I write something good, it would make for a better excuse for being alone. If I write something very good, maybe it would make me seem mysterious or something. That might attract someone, and then I wouldn't have to be alone. But then I probably wouldn't write. Or maybe I would. I hope I wouldn't start writing only because that person wanted me to. That would make me feel awful.
It's too easy to be complex. And I don't mean that in a self-indulgent way. I'm not saying I'm complex, or, more importantly, that anybody else isn't. That whole last paragraph was simply thinking of the opposite of the line before it. You learn before you even have pubes that day is the opposite of night, and up is the opposite of down, and if you tell someone not to give you their lunch money, it's opposite day, and in actuality, you do have to give them your lunch money.
Wait a minute, wasn't that last paragraph, just a paragraph saying the opposite of what the paragraph before it had to say? Damn it... I think I'm seeing a pattern here.
It's much harder to be simple. I have such an attraction to simplicity. But not simple simplicity - simplicity that looks complexity in the face and with understanding and empathy and says... "No thanks!".. and maybe smiles coyly and walks away. Yeah, that's what I need. I think.
Why my mind went to the complex/simple thing, which are too vague of words anyway, I don't know. It just felt right. I think it is because I was talking to Keegan the Artist and he told me that he is complex, and I thought that was a funny thing to say to someone. It is also a funny thing to say to someone while you are cleaning your bong. He keeps his bong very clean, which is admirable, I think, especially for a stoner. I wonder if simple people let their bongs get dirty. I should ask him. Maybe I should wait 'til he's stoned, first.
Well, I'm tired, and it's finally quiet next door. Maybe I won't go over this a million times and edit the little nuances over and over all day tomorrow. This can be, like, a raw exercise in writing, or something. I guess.