Saturday, November 28, 2009

i'm alone on a friday night because...

- i'm socially awkward and don't know how to make new friends
- i have nothing practical to offer someone when they're considering doing something
- i abandoned almost all my friends from high school, severing all social connections i made for the majority of my life
- half of my friends have girlfriends and don't feel like going out
- i went to pima my first two years of college and i missed out on the prime socialization period of the 'college experience'
- i'm (perceived as) intellectually intimidating and cynical therefore people assume i'm incapable of having a good time
- i actually am a cynical asshole and therefore incapable of having a good time
- people can tell i am thinking too hard about what they're saying and they don't like it so they don't want to talk to me
- i'm secretly very picky about who i hang out with based on the odds of me meeting a girl and people know that so don't invite me out
- friends who i didn't abandon in high school have developed normally and i am lagging behind in some weird amorphous social stage
- people think i'm a stoner
- people think i'm a nerd
- friends want to have careless fun, and i have to add unnecessary weight to things and ruin it for everybody
- i'm nervous about doing new things so people would just rather leave me out rather than risking having to deal with my resistance
- even if i wasn't nervous, they'd suspect i wasn't truly enjoying myself anyway, and then ask me the following questions:
"are you having a good time?" "are you glad you came out?" "dave, what do you feel like doing?"
- all of the above are just over-analyses and people are simply bored of being around me, and tired of predicting when i'm going to say something sarcastic
- i post things like this.

1 comment:

Molly said...

- Your friends are out of town on their honeymoon.